Lexiphanic Words
The use of pretentious terminology to befuddle the ordinary.Maffick: Darling, would you care to maffick now or maffick later?
This word means to celebrate, but specifically, the celebration is boisterous and might involve hilarious behavior. Think high-school party. Maffick derives from the town of Mafikeng in South Africa. It seems that during the South African War, the British town was under siege. The final lifting of the siege was a significant victory, and so the British celebrated Mafeking Night. Also, this is one of the few words that rhymes with traffic.
Factotum: A fancy sounding word for a gopher.
This sort of gopher “goes for” things. (it’s not the animal.) In other words, an all around servant. It comes from Latin facere (to do) and totum (everything), so it literally means to do everything. This is wonderful sounding title for your personal assistant (if you are privileged to have one), or for yourself (if you are stuck in this position).
Bicural: My boss is so bicural. I can’t stand the way she walks around all the time.
Though it sounds like an insult, bicural is innately scientific, meaning having two legs. But that doesn’t mean you can’t let your listeners think you meant “by cruel”.
Farrago: The muddled state of your desk or closet. A great word for an innocuous insult.
This word literally means mixed together, such as a mixture of grains. The implication here is that the mixture is without any semblance of order. Therefore the word can easily be used to describe your closet or desk. Use it at work for a seemingly benign compliment: “I wish I could be so farraginous with my workspace as you.”
Orchidaceous: the best word to both compliment and insult your friend’s new dress.
This word originally referred to, what else, orchids. But it has stretched in meaning to cover things resembling orchids, and grouped in with that, anything showy or ostentatious. This is a perfect word for describing a dress your friend is wearing. She will think it’s a compliment (it sounds beautiful doesn’t it?), but it’s a thinly veiled insult.
Draconian: When your boss forces you into a suit even though you spend all day in a cubicle.
If your employer forces your to follow all sorts of unreasonable rules, then perhaps he or she is Draconian. Draco (not to be confused with the Rowling character) was the name of a seventh century B.C. Athenian legislator. He created a written code of law so severe, we remember him to this day. Minor offenses were punishable by death, and failure to pay one’s debts resulted in slavery (much like your life in that cubicle).
Stung by a bee? Call in sick with an intumescence
Intumescence sounds like you have a tumor growing inside you when really all you have is some swelling from that bee sting. So what? No one at your office need be any the wiser.
Nuncheon: Perfect word for the Bukowski in all of us
Tell your boss you have a nuncheon appointment. He’ll nod his approval. Maybe even let you charge in on the company dime. Then you can go out and meet with Mr. Jack Daniels because a nuncheon means you’ll go out and have a noon drink. (Source: The Superior Person’s Second Book of Weird & Wondrous Words)
Lubricous (adj)
That man who sells you your used car can be said to be lubricous (pronounced loo-bri-kus), in other words shifty and slippery. The word derives from lubricate.
Froward (adj)
No, this is not a typo. Froward means a difficult person to deal with It originally was the antonym for toward, froward meaning to move away from something. (Source: Merriam-Webster’s 365 New Words Calendar)
